The Singles Game

The Singles Game
by Lauren Weisberger
Simon & Schuster, 2016. 341 pages. Fiction.

Charlie is a consistent tennis star until she suffers a horrible injury at Wimbledon, with all the world watching. Miraculously she makes a fast and complete recovery, and she really changes things to reshape herself to be a champion. She hires a new coach, typically a men's only coach, who ruthlessly trains her to be the best. This coach insists on changes on and off the court that ultimately question Charlie's desire to continue life as a pro tennis player.

As a tennis fan, and a chick-lit fiction fan, this book was a good choice. It was easy to get into and I liked the personable and relatable Charlie character. I started to really feel for her when her choices on and off the court started to negatively effect her self esteem and her family. It was a quick, yet satisfying ending as she straightens her life out again. Weisberger writes with a witty, fast paced and engaging style but her inclusion of bad language seems gratuitous. I liked this book enough that I wanted to read some of her other books too!

Bless Me, Ultima

Bless Me, Ultima
By Rudolfo A. Anaya
Warner Books, (1973) 1994. 250 pages. Fiction.

This widely acclaimed and award winning novel for Chicano literature, tells of a young boy in New Mexico in the 1940s as he experiences the ups and downs of growing up. Antonio bonds with Ultima, a curandera (native traditional healer) as she lives with his struggling family. Ultima takes Antonio on a spiritual journey as he learns about the grittier aspects of life.  Antonio must negotiate his parents differing backgrounds, religion. life and death, healing powers, post WWII realities, and good and evil, ultimately arriving at who he wants to become. Antonio credits the shaping of life to this kind old woman who taught him and cared for him when his world was a turbulent and confusing mess.

This book is a classic that sinks into your soul and changes you- I highly recommend it for all mature teens and adults. Anaya writes with imaginative description and visceral clarity about the realities of life so this novel is not a thematically easy or relaxing read. I enjoyed the insights into New Mexican life during this time period and how the different worlds colliding must have been hard for a young person to grow up in. Coming of age stories always resonate with me and since Antonio must grapple with so many big issues, I found myself going on the same spiritual journey with him as I realized my own feelings on the issues.

The Danish Girl

The Danish Girl
by David Ebershoff
Penguin Books, 2000, ebook 494 pages, Fiction

This novel is an unusual, emotional, and deeply moving love story inspired by the lives of the Danish painters Einar and Greta Wegener at the turn of the twentieth century. This tender portrait of marriage and change starts with a simple favor asked by a wife of her husband in the paint studio, which sets off a course of transformation and realization that neither could have predicted. The Danish Girl tells the poignant story of Lili Elbe, a pioneer in transgender history, and those she was close with as they each navigate their loyalties, ambitions, and desires.

Having no transgender people in my immediate circles I was very curious how Ebershoff would approach this interesting and poignant story. I was wrapped up in the lush and vivid descriptions of Denmark, California and Paris and was so impressed with the writing and structure. This book makes you think and feel things about situations that seem almost incomprehensible for a normal life. What was surprising to me is the medical advancements that were available so much earlier than I expected. The various relationships and love triangles are deeply moving and emotional. This is only loosely based on the life of Lili Elbe, so it should not be read as biography, but rather as fiction. I am glad for fiction books like this that explore transgender issues (and some of the other harder topics of modern life) that often get twisted with politics, religion, and social concerns, rather than focusing on the individuals whose lives are directly affected. This book is intended for a more mature audience both with themes and writing style.

LP

5 Biographies of Badass Women

#Whatireallyreallywant is for everyone to read about these important women! In no particular order or preference, each tells of a woman you should be aware of and knowledgeable about. #girlpower

Frida Kahlo was a famous surrealist and modern artist and should be remembered as more than just the wife of another famous Mexican artist. She is renowned for her inventive self-portraits and examining the tougher aspects of life through her paintings. This compilation is a first of it’s kind- an illustrated journal complete with Frida’s own thoughts, poems, dreams, sketches, self portraits and more. It covers the last ten years of her life from 1944-1954, in a captivating and sometimes haunting, sometimes witty way. Giving perspective on her turbulent relationship with Diego, living with a debilitating handicap and the ensuing surgeries, and insights on her creative process, this auto biography shines with Frida’s own hand.

The Diary of Frida Kahlo: An Intimate Self-Portrait, Frida Kahlo

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Catherine the Great was the most renowned and longest-ruling female leader of Russia, reigning from 1762- 1796. She came to power after her husband was assassinated and while under her rule Russia became one of the great powers of Europe. Balancing the government, foreign policy, cultural development, domestic rebellion, wars, and welfare of the Russian people were all in her hands. This book accurately captures the life of this great women, giving details to her personal relationships, her well developed philosophical mind, and her successes and struggles in ruling the vast country of Russia.

Catherine the Great: Portrait of a Woman, Robert K. Massie

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Marie Sklodowska Curie was distinguished physicist and chemist who pioneered research on radioactivity (a term that she coined!). She was the first woman to receive the Nobel Peace Prize, the only woman to win it twice, and the only person to win twice in multiple sciences.  She discovered two elements- polonium and radium. She was the first woman to become a professor at the University of Paris and became the first women to be entombed on her own merits in the Pantheon of Paris. This book is a visual journey through Marie’s life- collages, photos, clippings, drawings- giving a compelling narrative to the fascinating scientific significance of her work, while mixing in romance and intrigue.

Radioactive: Marie & Pierre Curie: A Tale of Love and Fallout, Lauren Redniss

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Cleopatra has been imagined for centuries by poets, artists and historians alike in attempt to convey her beauty, wealth, power and importance. She was the last acting pharaoh of the Ptolemaic dynasty founded by Alexander the Great. She was married twice to her brothers but her lovers- Julius Caesar and Mark Anthony place her as the most influential woman of the age.  This book separates fact from fiction to reveal in rich detail the dazzling life of this magnetic queen.

Cleopatra: A Life, Stacy Schiff

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Malala Yousafzai is a human rights activist known for her advocacy for education and women.  In her  province of Pakistan the local Taliban sometimes banned girls from attending school. Her family runs a chain of schools in that region and on October 9, 2012 a gunman boarded her school bus, asked for her name and shot her. After intensive recovery Malala is thriving and continues her advocacy against this kind of violence and discrimination. She was named one of TIME magazine’s most influential people in the world, she was the youngest winner of the Nobel Peace prize and she continues to speak at international conventions. This is her powerful story of a family uprooted by global terrorism, the fight for girl’s education, and her beliefs that have already changed the world.

I Am Malala: The Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban, Malala Yousafzai

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How to raise strong girls: The Feminist Fiction Starter Guide

(how to rid the world of ingrained and internalized misogyny)

Do you want to raise strong, smart, ambitious and independent girls? Do you want to be the kind of person who makes a difference in the world? READ. Read about women! Read from the Feminist Fiction Starter Guide.

As the oldest child of a typical Mormon family, growing up in Colorado, I never grew up with the word feminist. Then in college at BYU I heard the word thrown around as an almost ‘dirty’ word. It wasn’t until years later in graduate program at BYU that I came to understand feminist to mean someone who shares a common goal: to define, establish and achieve equal political economic, personal and social rights for women. And then I realized I AM a feminist. A staunch one at that. I had been raised to be a strong, independent woman who would think and act for herself, defending human rights for all and wanting others to have the same realization- feminism is a good thing.

So what shaped me all those years leading up to this epiphany? READING. Reading wonderful fiction that had female protagonists who got real stuff done. They overcame hard things, helped others who were down, they learned about boys, dating and heartbreak, they grew into their bodies over those awkward teenage years, and they conquered and achieved.

THE RED TENT by Anita Diamant- This book gave me a love for the old testament. I like the female perspective on a story that I had read and heard only from the biblical (male) perspective. In a wonderful blend of historical and fiction Diamant gives a voice to Dinah, the one and only daughter in the famous 12 tribes of Israel family.

ANNE OF GREEN GABLES LM Montgomery- Anne is one of those headstrong fiery characters (plus she has great red hair!) who lives life to the fullest. She never lets social convention or the ‘norms’ dictate her behavior. She is smart and pursues her education so intently that she competes for top of the class with the boys. She won’t let boys bully her and she is a loyal and devoted friend.

MISTS OF AVALON by Marion Zimmer Bradley- This is the King Arthur story told from the powerful and passionate women in his life. Morganne is the sister that gets a bad rap, or is forgotten in other king arthur stories, but here- she reigns as the best Camelot has to offer. The complex web of women at this time is told with their plots for power, love and magical/mystical influences.

ELLA ENCHANTED by Gale Carson Levine- I am definitely the kind of person who doesn’t like being told what to do, so I felt for Ella as she was cursed with the gift of obedience. Because of her goodness and perseverance she is able to overcome the spell and finds true love (the ideal!).

THE HELP by Kathryn Stockett- I have always had a soft spot in my heart for those suffering from civil rights injustices. I could really connect to the various women’s stories and I wanted redemption and recourse for those wrongs against black women in the south. I think young girls need to recognize the issue of race in America and how to not be narrow minded or discriminate.

THE HUNGER GAMES by Suzanne Collins- I love how Katniss is the protector of her family. I am also the oldest child and I would like to imagine I could begin a war all because I wanted to protect my little sister from a brutal death game. Katniss is bold and yet flawed and we get to see her grow, overcome obstacles, and accept the harder facts of life. She made me want to be a strong fighter but also someone who lived life passionately.  

ISLAND OF THE BLUE DOLPHINS by Scott O'Dell- This is a survival story at it’s heart, making Karana a real inspiration to girls. She was left behind by her tribe on their island and is forced to build shelter, find food, make weapons and fight her enemies, alone. This is a coming of age story giving insight to another culture and teaching some practical survival skills.

LITTLE WOMEN by Louisa May Alcott- There is such a range of women in this book that a young reader can learn from. Jo is my personal favorite, but there are so many life choices that each March sister faces that teach girls about growing up. You can be like Amy and aspire to have many wealthy beaus, or you could be like Meg and marry a good honest man, or you can be like Jo and seek a career and teaching job. This classic is a reflection on American life during the time of the Civil War and helps readers see options for the way they approach the world and relationships.

Others that I haven’t personally read but come highly recommended in this category:

• Princess Academy by Shannon Hale
• Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See
• Buddha in the Attic by Julia Otsuka
• The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
• Harriet the Spy Louise Fitshugh
• Are you there God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
• Uglies by Scott Westfeld
• The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
• Walk two Moons by Sharon Creech

Get the Guy

Get the Guy: learn secrets of the male mind to find the man you want and the love you deserve 
By Matthew Hussey
HarperWave, 2013. 250 pages. Nonfiction.

Get the Guy is a in depth guide on how to to understand the male psyche and practical techniques to actually get a man you want and deserve. Matthew Hussey is a leading relationship expert and gives an honest male perspective to many of the typical behaviors displayed by women when dating. He’s like a real life Hitch!

The first part of the book talks about finding the guy- how it’s a number game, you need the mindset of the chooser, and the traits of a desirable woman, building conversations into dates, and online dating. Then he talks about how to get the guy- the formula for attraction, insecurities, creating a great date, intimacy, premature obligation, and why some women get stuck in the friend trap. Then the third part, which I found to be the best part- how to keep the guy. He tells about how to tell if he’s right for you, what guys really think about commitment, and how to create a love that lasts. Each section has so many seemingly obvious tips and insight that it’s silly that every single woman isn’t applying them.

If you are single this is a must read!  Rehashing and talking things out with girlfriends is never as effective as you hope in understanding the guy’s mind. This book is a treasure of sound very real advice. Every guy and relationship is unique but the perspectives found here are very practical, useful and written in a very approachable way. I have already begun applying its principles (with success!) and recommended it to several friends.

Smart and Sexy

Smart and Sexy
By Jill Shalvis
Brava/Kensington, 2007. 269 pages. Fiction, Romantic suspense.

Noah Fisher is a handsome and successful pilot who owns a private airplane company with his two best friends. Bailey Sinclair is a recently widowed and attractive woman, who happens to be Noah's secret crush for the past several years. Bailey is desperate to find the money hidden by her conniving late husband and concocts a crazy plan to force Noah to help her. Jetting off to the possible hideouts, the two find dangerous men chasing them, adventure and love.

This is #1 in the Sky High Air trilogy and I thoroughly enjoyed all of them. They are fast paced and very amusing. Despite being what I like to refer to as ‘escape fiction’ (where you just get lost for a few hours in a cute, fun, interesting story), these books have relatable characters and the story isn’t too far fetched. The love story is heartwarming and the suspense is just enough to keep the pages turning but not actually be scary. Typical of Jill Shalvis contemporary romance books- this is not a clean read- there steamy scenes and language throughout. I would categorize this trilogy as good beach/pool reads, keeping you entertained and yet requiring very little brain power.

Beyond All Dreams

Beyond All Dreams
By Elizabeth Camden
Bethany House 2015, 362 pages. Fiction.

Set in 1897 Washington, D.C., this is a Christian historical romance mystery novel about two unlikely people discovering their true selves, finding love and uncovering political secrets. Anna O'Brien, a librarian at the Library of Congress is assigned to assist the handsome and charming young congressman Luke Callahan with political research. As they work together more political secrets are uncovered and some seem to link to her father’s shipwreck from 15 years previous. As the secrets are uncovered their relationship is strained as personalities clash and public work life meet.

As a mystery book alone this story would fall very flat, but for a historical/romance/ fiction book it was quite lovely. It was a really fast read and fairly predictable, but also so heartwarming. I could relate to the characters and I really liked the way the various relationships played out. Strong Christian values were interspersed, but not overwhelming. This book made me want to read other Elizabeth Camden novels. If you like the TV show Scandal then you'd like this clean, historical version of DC political and PR drama and romance.

Queen of fashion : what Marie Antoinette wore to the Revolution

Queen of fashion : what Marie Antoinette wore to the Revolution
By Caroline Weber
Holt, 2006. 412 pages. Nonfiction, biography.


In a unique approach to biography, Caroline Weber applies Marie Antoinette’s interest in fashion to tell the story of her life. This tragic queen’s life is punctuated with interesting fashion choices and became both her means of expressing power and her ultimate downfall. Beginning with her arrival to Versailles as a young girl, and ending with her death during the French Revolution, we see Antoinette’s human and courageous side as she faces internal and foreign political opponents. This books adds a new facet to Marie Antoinette scholarship and tells her tale in a very approachable, almost novel-like readability.

I had a very skeptical view of Marie Antoinette before this book but Weber’s biography gives new light to why this French queen behaved as she did, and more importantly why she dressed how she dressed. I grew more sympathetic towards Antoinette and even though I knew she would be killed, I dreaded and mourned that outcome as the book progressed. Learning how fashion choices can shape culture and political outcomes is especially fascinating to me because it is an ever present undercurrent of society but so often discredited or forgotten. I would recommend this book to those interested in a more scholarly biography or an interest in fashion, French history, art history, or influential women.

Far From the Madding Crowd

Far From the Madding Crowd
By Hardy, Thomas
Oxford University Press, 2002. 433 pages. Fiction.

Bathsheba Everdene is a spirited, beautiful, independent woman who loves the attention from her three suitors, but needs to grow up and realize the consequences of an inconstant heart. Gabriel Oak, a shepherd, competes for her love against the debonair soldier Sergeant Troy and the respectable, middle aged farmer, Mr. Boldwood. Set in the rural countryside of 1870s Wessex, England,  Thomas Hardy tells the heartwarming coming of age story with rich descriptions of the beautiful countryside lifestyle, as well as modern sensibilities about relationships and social customs.

I had already seen and loved the BBC movie, and rarely does the book impress if I have not read it beforehand, but this is an exception! I really enjoyed Hardy’s lush descriptions of the landscape and the detailed perspectives, especially about the various suitors in this novel. It is fairly long but keeps a good pace as you meander through the countryside and the story line.  If you like 19th century England, strong independent female protagonists, love stories, or any sort of BBC classic then you will enjoy this title!

Eat, Pray, Love

Eat, pray, love one woman's search for everything across Italy, India, and Indonesia
By Elizabeth Gilbert
Penguin Books, 2006. 334 pages. Biography, Nonfiction.

Eat, pray, love is an engrossing biography about finding oneself after tragedy and change. In rather rash turn of events, Elizabeth Gilbert finds herself newly divorced, heartbroken from a passionate love affair and in real need of some soul searching. She begins her journey in Italy where she has taken a vow of celibacy, focusing instead on learning Italian and eating- eating lots and lots of pizza. After gorging herself in the rich Italian culture, Liz makes her way to India where she spends time focusing on her spiritual self. There she practices meditation, yoga and sheds her newly acquired pizza weight, as she muddles through her emotional issues. Next she is off to Indonesia where she unexpectedly meets a man and slowly falls in love again. With each new place she meets people that help her learn and grow to arrive at a more confident, happy and self-aware state of becoming.

As I read this book I couldn’t put it down. Learning about the various countries made me have serious wander-lust and crave that kind of cultural immersion. I have been a yoga fan for years, so the idea of in-depth yoga retreat sounds hard and exciting. I am a sucker for a love story, especially when the woman is not expecting a relationship to appear.  However, since finishing the book the whole thing seems rather self-indulgent and fantastical. Most people cannot drop their entire life, no matter how hard it becomes, to go on this kind of exceptional adventure. It is an entertaining read, but I would caution readers to avoid equating themselves to the author, or aspiring to have similar experiences.

The Power of Everyday Missionaries: the what and how of sharing the gospel
By Clayton M. Christensen
Deseret Book, 2013. 152 pages. Nonfiction.

This book gives very practical ‘how-to’ advice to be a successful member missionary. After service as a full-time missionary,  life can easily become too busy for meaningful missionary service, but Christensen teaches, from personal experience, how to overcome obstacles inherent to modern life and missionary work. Finding people to teach is the hardest part of missionary work and most members of the church do not realize or accept responsibility that they should be the finders and missionaries are the teachers. By setting time sensitive goals, inviting strangers and friends to hear the missionaries, and by being genuine and forthright, great success can be found. It’s not about the number of people baptized but rather the intent of your heart and efforts in building the kingdom of God that matters.

While serving a full-time mission, I felt confident that when I came home I would just be the kind of member missionary that the missionaries hoped and prayed for. As I read this book I felt inspired and invigorated to share the gospel but also intimidated because it meant a lot more preparation and work on my end than I previously imagined. Christensen shares lifestyle changes and best practices that help him and his family share the gospel. This book is written in a very approachable and applicable way, making the never-ending task of missionary work seem doable and fulfilling.

5 Love Languages

5 Love Languages
The Secret to Love that Lasts
By Gary D. Chapman
Moody & Northfield, 2001. 208 pages. Nonfiction.

Dr Chapman explores the different ways that men and women can learn to communicate with their loved ones. Discovering your personal love language, as well your loved one’s, can give specific direction to your behavior and change the way people feel loved. The 5 love languages Dr Chapman teaches about include: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Love is a choice, and by choosing to communicate with the love language that your spouse needs and responds best to, you are filling their love tank thereby creating a happier, lasting relationship.

This book includes helpful and introspective quizzes, anecdotes and extensive insights from Dr Chapman’s work as a counselor. I learned more about myself and the ways that I like to receive acts of love. I could better see how my relationships are enhanced when I choose to love each person based on their unique needs. This is a very practical self-help book that can benefit adults in all their relationships.

LP

Leadership and Self-Deception: getting out of the box
By The Arbinger Institute
Berrett-Koehler, 2010. 199 pages. Nonfiction.

Bud is excited because he has been hired at a new company. But unbeknownst to him, he is beginning more than just a new job- he is on a personal journey to learn how to get ‘out-of-the-box.’ With the help of his new bosses, Bud sees how his interactions with people can change for the better, and how his new perspective can positively effect change in his family and business life. With Bud, we learn how self-deception and self-betrayal are at the crux of every choice, and how to avoid this detrimental thinking and behavior. By learning to think and interact differently with others, Bud effectively removes himself from the damaging cycle of living in the box.

This book has been one of the most impactful books of my life. I am not exaggerating when I say it changed the way I look at every relationship whether with co-workers, significant others, family, or strangers. This is the kind of business and self-help book that surprises you with a story line that you want to follow as it draws you into the principles discussed. My way of thinking about people drastically changed and it’s both refreshing and frustrating to see how much room for improvement I had in my various relationships. I would recommend this book to be read by all, and reread often because principles that ring true are often forgotten without constant diligence.