Get the Guy

Get the Guy: learn secrets of the male mind to find the man you want and the love you deserve 
By Matthew Hussey
HarperWave, 2013. 250 pages. Nonfiction.

Get the Guy is a in depth guide on how to to understand the male psyche and practical techniques to actually get a man you want and deserve. Matthew Hussey is a leading relationship expert and gives an honest male perspective to many of the typical behaviors displayed by women when dating. He’s like a real life Hitch!

The first part of the book talks about finding the guy- how it’s a number game, you need the mindset of the chooser, and the traits of a desirable woman, building conversations into dates, and online dating. Then he talks about how to get the guy- the formula for attraction, insecurities, creating a great date, intimacy, premature obligation, and why some women get stuck in the friend trap. Then the third part, which I found to be the best part- how to keep the guy. He tells about how to tell if he’s right for you, what guys really think about commitment, and how to create a love that lasts. Each section has so many seemingly obvious tips and insight that it’s silly that every single woman isn’t applying them.

If you are single this is a must read!  Rehashing and talking things out with girlfriends is never as effective as you hope in understanding the guy’s mind. This book is a treasure of sound very real advice. Every guy and relationship is unique but the perspectives found here are very practical, useful and written in a very approachable way. I have already begun applying its principles (with success!) and recommended it to several friends.

The Power of Everyday Missionaries: the what and how of sharing the gospel
By Clayton M. Christensen
Deseret Book, 2013. 152 pages. Nonfiction.

This book gives very practical ‘how-to’ advice to be a successful member missionary. After service as a full-time missionary,  life can easily become too busy for meaningful missionary service, but Christensen teaches, from personal experience, how to overcome obstacles inherent to modern life and missionary work. Finding people to teach is the hardest part of missionary work and most members of the church do not realize or accept responsibility that they should be the finders and missionaries are the teachers. By setting time sensitive goals, inviting strangers and friends to hear the missionaries, and by being genuine and forthright, great success can be found. It’s not about the number of people baptized but rather the intent of your heart and efforts in building the kingdom of God that matters.

While serving a full-time mission, I felt confident that when I came home I would just be the kind of member missionary that the missionaries hoped and prayed for. As I read this book I felt inspired and invigorated to share the gospel but also intimidated because it meant a lot more preparation and work on my end than I previously imagined. Christensen shares lifestyle changes and best practices that help him and his family share the gospel. This book is written in a very approachable and applicable way, making the never-ending task of missionary work seem doable and fulfilling.

5 Love Languages

5 Love Languages
The Secret to Love that Lasts
By Gary D. Chapman
Moody & Northfield, 2001. 208 pages. Nonfiction.

Dr Chapman explores the different ways that men and women can learn to communicate with their loved ones. Discovering your personal love language, as well your loved one’s, can give specific direction to your behavior and change the way people feel loved. The 5 love languages Dr Chapman teaches about include: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Love is a choice, and by choosing to communicate with the love language that your spouse needs and responds best to, you are filling their love tank thereby creating a happier, lasting relationship.

This book includes helpful and introspective quizzes, anecdotes and extensive insights from Dr Chapman’s work as a counselor. I learned more about myself and the ways that I like to receive acts of love. I could better see how my relationships are enhanced when I choose to love each person based on their unique needs. This is a very practical self-help book that can benefit adults in all their relationships.

LP

Leadership and Self-Deception: getting out of the box
By The Arbinger Institute
Berrett-Koehler, 2010. 199 pages. Nonfiction.

Bud is excited because he has been hired at a new company. But unbeknownst to him, he is beginning more than just a new job- he is on a personal journey to learn how to get ‘out-of-the-box.’ With the help of his new bosses, Bud sees how his interactions with people can change for the better, and how his new perspective can positively effect change in his family and business life. With Bud, we learn how self-deception and self-betrayal are at the crux of every choice, and how to avoid this detrimental thinking and behavior. By learning to think and interact differently with others, Bud effectively removes himself from the damaging cycle of living in the box.

This book has been one of the most impactful books of my life. I am not exaggerating when I say it changed the way I look at every relationship whether with co-workers, significant others, family, or strangers. This is the kind of business and self-help book that surprises you with a story line that you want to follow as it draws you into the principles discussed. My way of thinking about people drastically changed and it’s both refreshing and frustrating to see how much room for improvement I had in my various relationships. I would recommend this book to be read by all, and reread often because principles that ring true are often forgotten without constant diligence.