The Danish Girl

The Danish Girl
by David Ebershoff
Penguin Books, 2000, ebook 494 pages, Fiction

This novel is an unusual, emotional, and deeply moving love story inspired by the lives of the Danish painters Einar and Greta Wegener at the turn of the twentieth century. This tender portrait of marriage and change starts with a simple favor asked by a wife of her husband in the paint studio, which sets off a course of transformation and realization that neither could have predicted. The Danish Girl tells the poignant story of Lili Elbe, a pioneer in transgender history, and those she was close with as they each navigate their loyalties, ambitions, and desires.

Having no transgender people in my immediate circles I was very curious how Ebershoff would approach this interesting and poignant story. I was wrapped up in the lush and vivid descriptions of Denmark, California and Paris and was so impressed with the writing and structure. This book makes you think and feel things about situations that seem almost incomprehensible for a normal life. What was surprising to me is the medical advancements that were available so much earlier than I expected. The various relationships and love triangles are deeply moving and emotional. This is only loosely based on the life of Lili Elbe, so it should not be read as biography, but rather as fiction. I am glad for fiction books like this that explore transgender issues (and some of the other harder topics of modern life) that often get twisted with politics, religion, and social concerns, rather than focusing on the individuals whose lives are directly affected. This book is intended for a more mature audience both with themes and writing style.

LP

God, please bless America

I am a daughter of God, a sister, a friend, a daughter of two loving parents, a feminist, a librarian, a yoga teacher, a relief society teacher, art enthusiast, an avid learner, an American citizen and supporter of The Constitution. Here are a few things that I believe.

I believe:

• Every citizen should vote for who they think would make the best president, not casting a vote for someone because they hate the other candidate options
• God loves all his children and gave them the gift of agency to choose between right and wrong. Spiritual laws and natural laws are indisputable and we will be held accountable for how we apply them. 
• All people are created equal no matter race, gender, religion, party affiliation, economic status, or sexual orientation. No matter who they are each person should be treated with respect and dignity because they are a fellow human. 
• Racism in any form is unacceptable. Many so called Christians have dominated the world with evil and hate, Grouping people based on race and then demeaning or threatening that group is not right. I am the kind of person that will hide those who need refuge in my home, God forbid it ever comes to that. 
• Sexism is any form is completely wrong. Men and women are created equally and yet men continue to control, abuse, and manipulate women and their bodies. Any sort of violence against women is a form of sexism. Rape, domestic abuse, assault, groping, molesting or even suggesting or joking about these horrific acts is blatant sexism. Silent bystanders reinforce this misogynistic culture. Ingrained misogyny is in our culture, language and relationships and needs to be stopped via education and awareness on an individual and national level. 
• America was originally founded as a refuge for those wanting freedoms that were not granted in their previous homes. This should continue to be a place of safe gathering and acceptance. The statue of Liberty says "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!" America should carefully and abundantly help refugees and those seeking immigration. 
• Abortion is morally wrong, however there are exceptions to this. If the child is a product of rape, incest, or is a life-threatening or emotionally-threatening problem to the mother then abortion is admissible. In these cases a woman should have safe, healthy and affordable access to medical professionals for the abortion procedures. 
• Each person has right to their own body. Rape and sexual assault are direct violation of this. Each woman needs to be able to choose what happens with her body. Many women choose to have abortions as a form of birth control and this is not appropriate. Birth control access and education needs to be available to every woman as to prevent abortions being used as such.  
• America should be leading the way in climate change reforms. Climate change has been an issue for decades. Only recently did the US join the squad of world leaders trying to do something about it. We are meant to be stewards of this earth and our individual bodies. 
• I believe in the right to bear arms, mostly. If someone knows how to safely operate and defend themselves and others with a gun then that's great for them. I don't want that kind of responsibility for myself. I am not comfortable shooting a gun. It's high time for universal background checks and closing loopholes that let the wrong people carry a gun. Sometime those wrong people with a gun are mentally ill. America needs to become much more aware and helpful in treating people with mental illnesses. Those people should not have access to guns, nor should anyone with terrorist ties.
• There needs to be reform and careful examination of our law enforcement officers. There have been too many shootings of black citizens to sweep this under the rug. Speaking out for civil rights is a wonderful thing; however, when those protests become violent it is not accomplishing anything, only stirring up more evil. 
• Education reform in America is needed across the board. We are undoubtedly the dumbest world power.  Kids are not given enough play and curious time, instead focusing on standardized tests. Common core is NOT the answer to fix the school system. We need to pay our teachers like we pay our celebrities and sports figures. They are shaping lives and building the future leaders of America. Take the focus away from tests and jobs and instead emphasize more on character building, exploration, analytical thought and apply it into all the subjects. Any emphasis on languages, the arts and music has been completely lost. Proper brain development needs all of it. Having a balance between school, rest and play is very important. The bulk of a child's formal learning should be in the classroom and at home, NOT in doing homework. 
• ISIS and terrorism are real and scary parts of this modern world. America needs to humble themselves to get along with other countries so that we can strategically fight against ISIS.
• There needs to be less taxes for lower and middle classes. Big corporations shouldn't have sway with laws, lobbyists or political parties. Wealthy individuals and corporations should be taxed much heavier. New jobs need to be created around building infrastructure and clean energy.
• America was established with the help of God and I believe we as a nation need to come back to trusting in God. As individuals we need to strive for this in our families and then hopefully it can trickle up to the nation as a whole. God, please bless America. We need all the help we can get right now. 

Get the Guy

Get the Guy: learn secrets of the male mind to find the man you want and the love you deserve 
By Matthew Hussey
HarperWave, 2013. 250 pages. Nonfiction.

Get the Guy is a in depth guide on how to to understand the male psyche and practical techniques to actually get a man you want and deserve. Matthew Hussey is a leading relationship expert and gives an honest male perspective to many of the typical behaviors displayed by women when dating. He’s like a real life Hitch!

The first part of the book talks about finding the guy- how it’s a number game, you need the mindset of the chooser, and the traits of a desirable woman, building conversations into dates, and online dating. Then he talks about how to get the guy- the formula for attraction, insecurities, creating a great date, intimacy, premature obligation, and why some women get stuck in the friend trap. Then the third part, which I found to be the best part- how to keep the guy. He tells about how to tell if he’s right for you, what guys really think about commitment, and how to create a love that lasts. Each section has so many seemingly obvious tips and insight that it’s silly that every single woman isn’t applying them.

If you are single this is a must read!  Rehashing and talking things out with girlfriends is never as effective as you hope in understanding the guy’s mind. This book is a treasure of sound very real advice. Every guy and relationship is unique but the perspectives found here are very practical, useful and written in a very approachable way. I have already begun applying its principles (with success!) and recommended it to several friends.

Daily Bread

I love bread. I love bread.

I love actual bread, I miss real not GF bread (it's been over 4 years living GF!! woot woot) but more importantly, I am craving daily spiritual bread.

For those who have not yet subscribed the lds.org daily meassages I urge you to do so!! These little emails are the happiest ones that I receive each day. It's a short little quote from a talk and then a link. I always end up going down the rabbit hole and reading the talk and a few of the related ones at the bottom. The words are so often exactly what  I need to hear! It's a wonderful tender mercy that the Lord has given us technology and people's whose jobs it is to bring brightness into our lives.

As I was preparing my RS lesson this past week I was reminded of some really happy good quotes and talks, some of which were brought to my remembrance because of the daily messages. I need that daily uplift so badly! Satan has been working overtime on me for whatever reason and I am not going to keep taking that same beating. Elder Holland said:

Only the adversary, the enemy of us all, would try to convince us that the ideals outlined in general conference are depressing and unrealistic, that people don’t really improve, that no one really progresses. And why does Lucifer give that speech? Because he knows he can’t improve, he can’t progress, that worlds without end he will never have a bright tomorrow. He is a miserable man bound by eternal limitations, and he wants you to be miserable too.

No more letting Old Scratch make me miserable! I am grateful and acutely aware of my limitations and need for Christ's all encompassing atonement. That grace is literal saving grace and my daily bread. I know it and I love that I have been given that gift! His grace is sufficient to daily feed me and make me whole, happy and successful.

The grace of Christ is sufficient—sufficient to cover our debt, sufficient to transform us, and sufficient to help us as long as that transformation process takes. The Book of Mormon teaches us to rely solely on “the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah” (2 Nephi 2:8). As we do, we do not discover—as some Christians believe—that Christ requires nothing of us. Rather, we discover the reason He requires so much and the strength to do all He asks (see Philippians 4:13). Grace is not the absence of God’s high expectations. Grace is the presence of God’s power (see Luke 1:37). (Brad Wilcox)

God's grace, beautiful creations and love are all around me. I am grateful and well loved.

Eat, Pray, Love

Eat, pray, love one woman's search for everything across Italy, India, and Indonesia
By Elizabeth Gilbert
Penguin Books, 2006. 334 pages. Biography, Nonfiction.

Eat, pray, love is an engrossing biography about finding oneself after tragedy and change. In rather rash turn of events, Elizabeth Gilbert finds herself newly divorced, heartbroken from a passionate love affair and in real need of some soul searching. She begins her journey in Italy where she has taken a vow of celibacy, focusing instead on learning Italian and eating- eating lots and lots of pizza. After gorging herself in the rich Italian culture, Liz makes her way to India where she spends time focusing on her spiritual self. There she practices meditation, yoga and sheds her newly acquired pizza weight, as she muddles through her emotional issues. Next she is off to Indonesia where she unexpectedly meets a man and slowly falls in love again. With each new place she meets people that help her learn and grow to arrive at a more confident, happy and self-aware state of becoming.

As I read this book I couldn’t put it down. Learning about the various countries made me have serious wander-lust and crave that kind of cultural immersion. I have been a yoga fan for years, so the idea of in-depth yoga retreat sounds hard and exciting. I am a sucker for a love story, especially when the woman is not expecting a relationship to appear.  However, since finishing the book the whole thing seems rather self-indulgent and fantastical. Most people cannot drop their entire life, no matter how hard it becomes, to go on this kind of exceptional adventure. It is an entertaining read, but I would caution readers to avoid equating themselves to the author, or aspiring to have similar experiences.

5 Love Languages

5 Love Languages
The Secret to Love that Lasts
By Gary D. Chapman
Moody & Northfield, 2001. 208 pages. Nonfiction.

Dr Chapman explores the different ways that men and women can learn to communicate with their loved ones. Discovering your personal love language, as well your loved one’s, can give specific direction to your behavior and change the way people feel loved. The 5 love languages Dr Chapman teaches about include: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Love is a choice, and by choosing to communicate with the love language that your spouse needs and responds best to, you are filling their love tank thereby creating a happier, lasting relationship.

This book includes helpful and introspective quizzes, anecdotes and extensive insights from Dr Chapman’s work as a counselor. I learned more about myself and the ways that I like to receive acts of love. I could better see how my relationships are enhanced when I choose to love each person based on their unique needs. This is a very practical self-help book that can benefit adults in all their relationships.

LP