Wednesday, November 9, 2016

How to raise strong girls: The Feminist Fiction Starter Guide

(how to rid the world of ingrained and internalized misogyny)

Do you want to raise strong, smart, ambitious and independent girls? Do you want to be the kind of person who makes a difference in the world? READ. Read about women! Read from the Feminist Fiction Starter Guide.

As the oldest child of a typical Mormon family, growing up in Colorado, I never grew up with the word feminist. Then in college at BYU I heard the word thrown around as an almost ‘dirty’ word. It wasn’t until years later in graduate program at BYU that I came to understand feminist to mean someone who shares a common goal: to define, establish and achieve equal political economic, personal and social rights for women. And then I realized I AM a feminist. A staunch one at that. I had been raised to be a strong, independent woman who would think and act for herself, defending human rights for all and wanting others to have the same realization- feminism is a good thing.

So what shaped me all those years leading up to this epiphany? READING. Reading wonderful fiction that had female protagonists who got real stuff done. They overcame hard things, helped others who were down, they learned about boys, dating and heartbreak, they grew into their bodies over those awkward teenage years, and they conquered and achieved.

THE RED TENT by Anita Diamant- This book gave me a love for the old testament. I like the female perspective on a story that I had read and heard only from the biblical (male) perspective. In a wonderful blend of historical and fiction Diamant gives a voice to Dinah, the one and only daughter in the famous 12 tribes of Israel family.




ANNE OF GREEN GABLES LM Montgomery- Anne is one of those headstrong fiery characters (plus she has great red hair!) who lives life to the fullest. She never lets social convention or the ‘norms’ dictate her behavior. She is smart and pursues her education so intently that she competes for top of the class with the boys. She won’t let boys bully her and she is a loyal and devoted friend.





MISTS OF AVALON by Marion Zimmer Bradley- This is the King Arthur story told from the powerful and passionate women in his life. Morganne is the sister that gets a bad rap, or is forgotten in other king arthur stories, but here- she reigns as the best Camelot has to offer. The complex web of women at this time is told with their plots for power, love and magical/mystical influences.




ELLA ENCHANTED by Gale Carson Levine- I am definitely the kind of person who doesn’t like being told what to do, so I felt for Ella as she was cursed with the gift of obedience. Because of her goodness and perseverance she is able to overcome the spell and finds true love (the ideal!).




THE HELP by Kathryn Stockett- I have always had a soft spot in my heart for those suffering from civil rights injustices. I could really connect to the various women’s stories and I wanted redemption and recourse for those wrongs against black women in the south. I think young girls need to recognize the issue of race in America and how to not be narrow minded or discriminate.


THE HUNGER GAMES by Suzanne Collins- I love how Katniss is the protector of her family. I am also the oldest child and I would like to imagine I could begin a war all because I wanted to protect my little sister from a brutal death game. Katniss is bold and yet flawed and we get to see her grow, overcome obstacles, and accept the harder facts of life. She made me want to be a strong fighter but also someone who lived life passionately.  




ISLAND OF THE BLUE DOLPHINS by Scott O'Dell- This is a survival story at it’s heart, making Karana a real inspiration to girls. She was left behind by her tribe on their island and is forced to build shelter, find food, make weapons and fight her enemies, alone. This is a coming of age story giving insight to another culture and teaching some practical survival skills.



LITTLE WOMEN by Louisa May Alcott- There is such a range of women in this book that a young reader can learn from. Jo is my personal favorite, but there are so many life choices that each March sister faces that teach girls about growing up. You can be like Amy and aspire to have many wealthy beaus, or you could be like Meg and marry a good honest man, or you can be like Jo and seek a career and teaching job. This classic is a reflection on American life during the time of the Civil War and helps readers see options for the way they approach the world and relationships.




Others that I haven’t personally read but come highly recommended in this category:
  • Princess Academy by Shannon Hale
  • Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See
  • Buddha in the Attic by Julia Otsuka
  • The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
  • Harriet the Spy Louise Fitshugh
  • Are you there God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
  • Uglies by Scott Westfeld
  • The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
  • Walk two Moons by Sharon Creech




Thursday, October 6, 2016

Get the Guy

Get the Guy: learn secrets of the male mind to find the man you want and the love you deserve 
By Matthew Hussey
HarperWave, 2013. 250 pages. Nonfiction.

Get the Guy is a in depth guide on how to to understand the male psyche and practical techniques to actually get a man you want and deserve. Matthew Hussey is a leading relationship expert and gives an honest male perspective to many of the typical behaviors displayed by women when dating. He’s like a real life Hitch!

The first part of the book talks about finding the guy- how it’s a number game, you need the mindset of the chooser, and the traits of a desirable woman, building conversations into dates, and online dating. Then he talks about how to get the guy- the formula for attraction, insecurities, creating a great date, intimacy, premature obligation, and why some women get stuck in the friend trap. Then the third part, which I found to be the best part- how to keep the guy. He tells about how to tell if he’s right for you, what guys really think about commitment, and how to create a love that lasts. Each section has so many seemingly obvious tips and insight that it’s silly that every single woman isn’t applying them.

If you are single this is a must read!  Rehashing and talking things out with girlfriends is never as effective as you hope in understanding the guy’s mind. This book is a treasure of sound very real advice. Every guy and relationship is unique but the perspectives found here are very practical, useful and written in a very approachable way. I have already begun applying its principles (with success!) and recommended it to several friends.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Repentance and Yoga

Yoga is the for body what repentance is the soul

I just started my yoga training class and I am ecstatic about it. It's the best therapy I've ever done, I feel more like myself than I have in months and I'm learning tons. And it's only just begun! I can't wait for the upcoming growth and changes. 

One thing that really worries me about my pursuit of yoga is inevitable the testimony testing. Yoga is inherently a physical and spiritual journey. It's meant to join the body and mind connecting into a greater life force. I cannot and will not ever leave the church and the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know it to be true down in my cells, much like I can feel the benefit and joy that comes from yoga. I know there is an incredible amount of truth built into the spiritual aspect of yoga, tasting of this part of the journey.

Repentance is like a spiral of advancement as you muddle through life. Hopefully that spiral ascends upwards but sometimes you stay at the same altitude circling instead of progressing up and forward. I have definitely been stagnant lately in this regard. And I couldn't seem to spur myself forward. I am hopeful that yoga teacher training will propel me back up to my normal happy hopeful self, the self who feels capable and determined to be a better disciple of Christ each day. 

Repentance is essentially change. Changing whatever thoughts, feelings, appetites, desires, doubts, behaviors, habits, traditions, superstitions, half-truths, and conveniences within our mortal selves that cannot fit within the home of our Heavenly Parents. This will require tremendous effort, stretching, growing, exerting and falling on our part. We cannot do it alone nor can we do it on the first try. However we are blessed with the people and the means to accomplish this seemingly impossible goal.

Repentance requires faith (obedience + hope) and diligence (faith + consistency) in order to be effective. And of course all of this has to be centered in and around the Atonement of our Savior. Much like a yoga class where steady movements and poses stretch our physical bodies, daily acts of repentance build our capacity for progression. If you take months off your yoga practice you will not be able to comfortably or quickly get into complicated inversions. Even completing the basic sun salutations will leave you sweaty and sore. But gradually coming back to the basics anyone can progress to the more advanced moves. The repetition helps build the foundation of strength and flexibility that is necessary for progression. 

Thankfully we don't have to fumble through yoga poses alone. There are gurus to guide and direct us. They can deepen our stretches simply by touching your lower back in the right place. They can spot you as you clumsily try handstands over and over again. They will be there coaching and encouraging you as you fall. Because you will fall. They can take you through sequences that will wring out toxins and trapped emotions to help you heal from the inside out. Much like our Savior, a yoga teacher will gently and firmly command you and then carefully place her hands on your body to direct the movement and flow of energy. You aren't alone in the stretching (growing, learning, changing) process. There are classmates, books and outside resources. You can ask for help. Sometimes the teacher will know what you need without asking. And sometimes you have to stay after class to get additional clarification on a certain pose. 

We are here on this fallen world to learn how to become celestial beings. Those beings have bodies and we need to learn how to care for our bodies here and now in order to receive a celestial body and live comfortably with our Heavenly Parents. I firmly believe in the connectedness between body and spirit. Yoga taps into that as you move, meditate and gain control over the outer and inner body. Your body and mind are a two part system learning to live the gospel. Healthy souls have healed their body and mind of the evils and vices of this fallen world. That can include any addiction, illness, abuse, sin, temptation, wicked desires etc. There are those people who have worked on their souls (body and spirit) disproportionately. I think yoga helps balance the two parts of the soul. By striving for depth in the physical practice strength, flexibility, balance, coordination, and spacial awareness are increased. But in order to achieve this there must be introspection and conscious decisions made to move forward. Mindfulness and intentions must be set, exerting incredible mental energy in the positive direction for change. 

When someone consistently and intentionally repents they change, and they can see how much more they need to yet change. There is no complacency, only joy in the journey. It may be hard at times but the overall feeling of the bad plus the good is joy. Similar to the sweaty, stretched, sore and energized feeling after yoga. Yoga breathes this joy into the body and the mind, healing and progressing you forward. So repent and do yoga!  


Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Smart and Sexy

Smart and Sexy
By Jill Shalvis
Brava/Kensington, 2007. 269 pages. Fiction, Romantic suspense.

Noah Fisher is a handsome and successful pilot who owns a private airplane company with his two best friends. Bailey Sinclair is a recently widowed and attractive woman, who happens to be Noah's secret crush for the past several years. Bailey is desperate to find the money hidden by her conniving late husband and concocts a crazy plan to force Noah to help her. Jetting off to the possible hideouts, the two find dangerous men chasing them, adventure and love.

This is #1 in the Sky High Air trilogy and I thoroughly enjoyed all of them. They are fast paced and very amusing. Despite being what I like to refer to as ‘escape fiction’ (where you just get lost for a few hours in a cute, fun, interesting story), these books have relatable characters and the story isn’t too far fetched. The love story is heartwarming and the suspense is just enough to keep the pages turning but not actually be scary. Typical of Jill Shalvis contemporary romance books- this is not a clean read- there steamy scenes and language throughout. I would categorize this trilogy as good beach/pool reads, keeping you entertained and yet requiring very little brain power.


Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Beyond All Dreams

Beyond All Dreams
By Elizabeth Camden
Bethany House 2015, 362 pages. Fiction.

Set in 1897 Washington, D.C., this is a Christian historical romance mystery novel about two unlikely people discovering their true selves, finding love and uncovering political secrets. Anna O'Brien, a librarian at the Library of Congress is assigned to assist the handsome and charming young congressman Luke Callahan with political research. As they work together more political secrets are uncovered and some seem to link to her father’s shipwreck from 15 years previous. As the secrets are uncovered their relationship is strained as personalities clash and public work life meet.

As a mystery book alone this story would fall very flat, but for a historical/romance/ fiction book it was quite lovely. It was a really fast read and fairly predictable, but also so heartwarming. I could relate to the characters and I really liked the way the various relationships played out. Strong Christian values were interspersed, but not overwhelming. This book made me want to read other Elizabeth Camden novels. If you like the TV show Scandal then you'd like this clean, historical version of DC political and PR drama and romance.


Monday, June 27, 2016

Daily Bread

I love bread. I love bread.



I love actual bread, I miss real not GF bread (it's been over 4 years living GF!! woot woot) but more importantly, I am craving daily spiritual bread.

For those who have not yet subscribed the lds.org daily meassages I urge you to do so!! These little emails are the happiest ones that I receive each day. It's a short little quote from a talk and then a link. I always end up going down the rabbit hole and reading the talk and a few of the related ones at the bottom. The words are so often exactly what  I need to hear! It's a wonderful tender mercy that the Lord has given us technology and people's whose jobs it is to bring brightness into our lives.

As I was preparing my RS lesson this past week I was reminded of some really happy good quotes and talks, some of which were brought to my remembrance because of the daily messages. I need that daily uplift so badly! Satan has been working overtime on me for whatever reason and I am not going to keep taking that same beating. Elder Holland said:

Only the adversary, the enemy of us all, would try to convince us that the ideals outlined in general conference are depressing and unrealistic, that people don’t really improve, that no one really progresses. And why does Lucifer give that speech? Because he knows he can’t improve, he can’t progress, that worlds without end he will never have a bright tomorrow. He is a miserable man bound by eternal limitations, and he wants you to be miserable too.

No more letting Old Scratch make me miserable! I am grateful and acutely aware of my limitations and need for Christ's all encompassing atonement. That grace is literal saving grace and my daily bread. I know it and I love that I have been given that gift! His grace is sufficient to daily feed me and make me whole, happy and successful.

The grace of Christ is sufficient—sufficient to cover our debt, sufficient to transform us, and sufficient to help us as long as that transformation process takes. The Book of Mormon teaches us to rely solely on “the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah” (2 Nephi 2:8). As we do, we do not discover—as some Christians believe—that Christ requires nothing of us. Rather, we discover the reason He requires so much and the strength to do all He asks (see Philippians 4:13). Grace is not the absence of God’s high expectations. Grace is the presence of God’s power (see Luke 1:37). (Brad Wilcox)

God's grace, beautiful creations and love are all around me. I am grateful and well loved.


Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Queen of fashion : what Marie Antoinette wore to the Revolution

Queen of fashion : what Marie Antoinette wore to the Revolution
By Caroline Weber
Holt, 2006. 412 pages. Nonfiction, biography.


In a unique approach to biography, Caroline Weber applies Marie Antoinette’s interest in fashion to tell the story of her life. This tragic queen’s life is punctuated with interesting fashion choices and became both her means of expressing power and her ultimate downfall. Beginning with her arrival to Versailles as a young girl, and ending with her death during the French Revolution, we see Antoinette’s human and courageous side as she faces internal and foreign political opponents. This books adds a new facet to Marie Antoinette scholarship and tells her tale in a very approachable, almost novel-like readability.

I had a very skeptical view of Marie Antoinette before this book but Weber’s biography gives new light to why this French queen behaved as she did, and more importantly why she dressed how she dressed. I grew more sympathetic towards Antoinette and even though I knew she would be killed, I dreaded and mourned that outcome as the book progressed. Learning how fashion choices can shape culture and political outcomes is especially fascinating to me because it is an ever present undercurrent of society but so often discredited or forgotten. I would recommend this book to those interested in a more scholarly biography or an interest in fashion, French history, art history, or influential women.